I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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