my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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