I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
