girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
