we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
