first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
