whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
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Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sex in a hospital.. check
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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