whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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