They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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