elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
