How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
