yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
two words...techno handjob
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
