We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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