I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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