I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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