What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
