Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
