ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do herpes really smell.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
