Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
