I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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