it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize