hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
