Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
