he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
my poor anus
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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