Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
