And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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