i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
