when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
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I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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