Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
