I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize