There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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