you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the condom got lost in my hair
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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