so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
