I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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