you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
