I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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