I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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