there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
