I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he thought i was a dude.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
