No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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