it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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