She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
