Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
