At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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