God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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