What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
