Dual....:-)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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