Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
