I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
