Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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