i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
