well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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