I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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