This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
