zippers are such a cool invention
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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