so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
