Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
