I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm bleeding and have questions
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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