we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize